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  • Julie

DEEP SUMMER

Old posts from now defunct online journals of my past, every Thursday.

This post was originally published elsewhere on August 30, 2014.

Blueberries are picking. Chicks and ducklings are breaking through shells coming earthside. Little boys are giving themselves first haircuts while mamas wait for that jam to set, wait for that water bath to boil.

We are sun-browned and weary, grateful and sometimes teary, in Deep Summer.

Sunday we were in talks to let go of Much Loved Animals to make room for Much More Sense Animals. Later that evening, Craig ripped up the carpet in our new bedroom, setting off decades of dirt and dander, revealing less than inspiring plywood underneath. Monday night we moved furniture from our old-bedroom-soon-to-be-Gus's-bedroom only to find ourselves bickering over how little we seem to get done in a day. And all the while I'm thinking about how settling into the right place- whether a room in your house or the herd in your field- it can have you so off kilter. So much so that you have to wonder if you really are settling into what's right or if you're just making yourself really uncomfortable just because. We'll see when it all levels out.

We lost three hens to a fox last week. Two days later eight healthy chicks, or chicklings if you're a certain almost four year old, tumbled from the underside of a dutiful hen. It all comes around, it all rights itself. Death followed by birth; growth from the ashes after you burn it all to the ground. It's in that spirit that I'm finding peace with the necessary but hard decisions we're making, straining my eyes to see the rebirth around the corner.

Sunday morning I set out to one of our wild blueberry fields alone. Five hours later I had just as many pounds and a plan for jam. Such a difference from last year when I could barely find the patience to pick a pint. This season, despite changes to come, has been one of reassurance. We can grow our own food. We can pick enough of our own berries to have a winter jam stock in the larder. We can make this all work.

Summer has been good to us. We've been lake swimming and eating out of the garden daily and finding ourselves a community. Last summer was eternal and this one I can barely get my hands on. In just a few days I'll be able to say Gus starts back to school next month! And then before any of us are ready, it will be October. My favorite month made particularly special this year with plans to open an online shop. I'm excited and scared, and sometimes feeling less than qualified. And for now I'll leave it at that. A less than poetic ending but I can only put off the to do list in hours of daylight for so long. All the summer love to you.

2017 update: we kept the cows and have since moved bedrooms again.. <3

#OLDERWRITING

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